Why I started this blog
Published: August 19, 2016
This blog is about helping people to get their lives back after being addicted to tranquilizers. There are forums and Facebook pages that provide advice and support on how to withdraw from tranquilizers (benzodiazepines or benzos) but there is very little written about how to recover. I want to encourage people going through the sometimes lengthy recovery process.
For 38 years I relied on sleeping pills (Mogadon) to go to sleep and I eventually became tolerant to them so I went back to my doctor to ask for help. I was prescribed the drug Halcion which has a half-life of only 2 hours (that is how long the drug stays in the blood stream) and is even more addictive than the Mogadon I was taking. Halcion was a whole different level of addiction and it wasn’t long before I felt like I went straight to hell because a few hours after taking my dose my body wanted more… it let me know it wasn’t happy in the form of muscle spasms, extreme sensitivity, adrenaline rushes that lasted for hours, anxiety and a whole array of other symptoms – it was horrible.
Going to see other doctors didn’t help because most didn’t know how to help me – they didn’t recognise problem in the first place and didn’t know how to help me withdraw from benzodiazepines anyway. This went on for two years. I found help in the form of a forum called TRAP – it has since closed down but that forum saved my life and my sanity!
I’m still learning how to manage this blog. The photo on the right is while I was still on the Halcion and had no idea what was wrong with me. The one on the left is about half way through the withdrawal process. I hadn’t slept in weeks, I had lost my home and my life savings. I was in the process of reinventing myself and I experimented with cutting my hair off, going blond then growing it longer as it is today.
I’m 3 years benzo free and I’m still a work in progress but I am well on the way to recovery. I have been functional through most of my taper – I went back to university to retrain myself then found the job I have now – it is challenging but I love it..
I have discovered a lot about myself, the medical system, food and nutrition, exercise – you name it. My adrenals have been left weakened so I am in the process of strengthening them – I will write about that as well.
I intend to share the tools that I learned along the way through my withdrawal and recovery process. These tools are not necessarily conventional and they may not be for everyone but please be patient with me they may just be the tools you need to get your life on track.
A fairly recent photo of me and my partner Lewis. I really find it hard to believe at times how much my life has changed.